It’s Raining Bullets

Posted: February 3, 2011 by Tim Utley in Editorials

Bulletstorm creators have been parodying popular FPS franchises as a way of promoting their own title (Halo and now Call of Duty).  Their most recent parody, while mildly funny will likely strike a nerve with a gamer or two.  “Duty Calls” is the latest to receive the parody treatment in the form of an actual video game.  “Duty Calls” hyperbolizes most of the hallmark features found in the Call of Duty franchise and the humor runs thin pretty quick.  I don’t have the resources to visually parody Bulletstorm so I will be doing it in text form.  So here is…..

“Hey you silly retard, its time to kill some hot guys, by blowing their dicks and assholes off”

“That is the only weak part of their hot tight bodies so load up your long rod rifle and lets blow some dicks and stuff their assholes full of hot dick lead”

“God all these rooms are filled with huge spikes, kinda wish I could shove them up some hot guys ass, and wait the more guys I penetrate the more points I get, oh geez lets get to banging some dudes because I wanna score so high on the leaderboard my dick hurts”

“Gee Golly it’s getting kinda kinky now, I have this electrified whip that grabs dudes and brings them to me, then they are in slow motion so I can check out their throbbing cock and steaming asshole before I blow them off, OMG I don’t know how many more dicks I can take today”

“I just noticed how nice all of the enemies cock’s look and how cute their assholes are, they have so much detail, this gives a whole new meaning to HEAD shots”

“JESUS christ the level is coming to an end, I hope I mutilated enough dicks and asses to rank better than my friends, wait the game is telling me something ‘Hey you fucking fartknocking ass retard moron needle dick cum dumpster piece of shit, you shoot like a fucking pussy, nice try you fucking vegetable why don’t you kill yourself, and hey you are ranked number 69 hahaha, shoot more dicks and assholes if you wanna be on top you fucking scumbag”

 

Reminder: This is making fun of another video game, not people, don’t take offense to it and if you do, quit being so sensitive.

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